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the past 3 weeks

first, i got dumped. i don't really mind though, i knew it was coming and it is for the better. but noetheless, i lost my mind. drunk for a week. the next week, got caught up on a boy. he fucked my head up and now i wanna fuck not because i like him. i really find him annoying now. but just because his girlfriend ( they broke up for that week) calls me a bitch and blames it all on me. she fucked another dude in his bed next to their kid!!!! and fucked 3 other guys in the past month while they were dating. we just made out and i got some head. whatever. i hate boys. i wish a had a girlfriend again. girls are so much easier. after all that, he went back to her and my ex came home from michigan and told me i had to move out. we were going to try the roommate thing but it wasn't working for either of us. luckily, my friends let me move into their spare bedroom. but on monday i got fired. so now i am totally broke. and yesterday i dropped my summer classes because with all of this shit i have fallen so far behind. i just want to get a job and spend the summer figuring out my life. but i already feel myself falling back into old ways. i cut myself during al this. it's healing and i don't want to keep doing it. and i am trying the whole dating game. i have never dated before. never even been on a date. i awlays just fuck a guy and move in and that's it. probably one of my biggest problems. but i get to go on my first date ever tomorrow!!! i'm nervous. what do you do on a date? how do you act? what do people do when they are not getting high or having sex? new new shit. but tongiht i think i wanna dress slutty and hit the beach. no real reason. i guess i'm just a ho at heart......



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